all in all..

It has been an awesome week.

My workouts have been steady and I'm loving them. I haven't skimped or skipped any. If I can get my eating right I'll be down to a science. So I'm back to eating every 3 - 4 hours and the brown rice. It's important to me because eating has become an emotional thing and I know that I shouldn't be eating emotionally but with performance and sustenance in mind.

Many people these days associate eating with everything but what it's supposed to be for. Maintaining and producing energy. We associate it with celebrations, depressions, etc..and this is where eating disorders come into play. I've been on every side of the eating disorder circle and I'm trying to get my head right so I can re-learn and rehabilitate myself without drugs and doctors. I don't want people to think that I recommend that for everyone. I know the triggers now and I know I'm not in a danger zone. It's something I can do with consistancy. I don't have bulemia and I'm not anorexic so there's no need to have a doctor supervise me. People that genuinely need help should get it.

I like the feeling of empowerment that I get when I finish a hard workout and I get really angry when depression keeps me from my workouts, so I'm hoping that I can force my mind into this balanced state so I don't lose track of my goals or set myself back.

I love the relaxation that I've been getting lately. Being offline has really made me focus on things that are important and it's relieved a lot of stress for me. I have more 'me' time as you can see and it's been theraputic in ways I could never even put into words. I'm much more calm and relaxed. The "Old Me" for sure.

I think that's all for today.