the pen is mightier than the sword...as cliche as it sounds

So I am carrying a 5 subject notebook around with me now..and anytime I get the urge to write, it goes in there. I do this for two reasons; number 1 it allows me to be off my computer which I'm trying to spend more time off of. number 2 it allows me to be undistracted while I put my thoughts down.

It's probably been the best form of expression I have unless they figure out how to give me a portable Paint Shop Pro :D (hey! a girl can hope!). I feel like I can get all those ideas out of my head and relax a little. It also curbs my desire to roleplay which was a strong addiction for awhile. It wasn't that I cared about the roleplaying itself, but the writing. No one ever got that. I loved making up the stories, designing the websites for it all. It was my own little world and depending on the day I was having..my own little alter ego.

So here I am. Both feet in the real world and ..I'm okay. Doesn't take much to make me happy. I have a lot of ideas and thoughts and now there's a place for it all. That's not to say I don't have my daily struggles. I want to send my scale flying into the nearest busy street and watch it's mechanical guts go flying everywhere. It's not even what you think either. I can be okay if it doesn't go down it's the fact that if you move it even an inch...the gd thing changes my weight. So I'm frustrated cuz I'm not sure if I moved it and my weight loss is actual or a malfunction of my scale....luckily there are mirrors in my house and I can see the loss and thusly..my scale is still alive and free of tire tracks.

On another subject; Ron and I are discussing who's brave enough to try the Reishi Mushroom Coffee. I think I spelled that right. Hopefully, because I have no desire or intention of looking it up just for this post. Basically it's the "red mushroom" of oriental mystery and full of health benefits...but does it TASTE like coffee? Or a mushroom pizza? I admit to being a little skittish but curious all at once.

I guess I'll let you guys know later how it goes if either of us are daring enough.

I guess that's it for now..if I ramble on too much I won't have anything for next time ;)

all quiet on the southern front

I know that I haven't blogged much in the last few days. Lots of stuff going on but not much of it is for disclosure. My best friend, Cat, had some rough days that she's dealing with and I've been helping her cope with that.

On the good side -- my friend H who got her body bugg has lost some weight and is very excited..enough so, that her hubby bought one and so did a friend at her office. So now they're all doing Friday weigh ins! I think it kicks ass and I'm glad to have inspired not only her, but my faithful sidekick Ron, who has started his own daily plate blog. (rock on!)

It's nice to know that positive things are just as contagious as negative. =) Cue cheesy commercial.

That's it for me..Finished my cardio and going to take a hot shower and read Choke. Wewt for presents!

just a quickie

Not much to report today, maybe I'll think of more tomorrow..I had a treat today as you can see..I was good this whole week...now to go bang out 30min (or more) of cardio so I don't lose track!

Night!

>.<

I'm groggy today and I don't know why. I can't tell if it's because it's one of those relaxing days where you just want to veg and stare at clouds while falling in out of cat naps or ...if it's because my sleep schedule is so fubar. Probably both.

We kept the boys home today because the alarms didn't go off and we just didn't feel like braving the storm this morning to drive them to school. Call us bad parents..wtfever. They can miss one day, I'm sure they aren't tortured scholastically by it.

I'm thinking about changing up my hairstyle, too. Been a few days in thought. Keeping the length but coloring it to a more brighter color for summer. Thinking light brown with a touch of small blond streaks. Problem is, I can not find a hairstylist that doesn't fuck up the look I'm going for. I never like to complain but I usually walk out dissatisfied with what they've done. And paying 25 bucks or more for it, makes me more angry when I get home and discover that the cut isn't that great? Yeah...makes me want to learn to cut my own damn hair.

My dieting is going VERY well. I'm pleased with everything at the moment..I just hope I can keep it up and the bipolar mood swings don't dissuade me from my path. I'm happy when I work out....it's getting me to do it that makes me want to kick small animals and gnaw on scorpion tails ...and no, not literally. Sad that I have to put that little notation, don't need any animal activists or white coat people knocking at my door. I have enough issues.

My friend, I'll call her H because I don't want to impose on the privacy of said friend, and I are trying to keep each other motivated. She got the bodybugg [ bodybugg.com ] that I recommended to her and in turn, a friend of hers got one. Why? Because they are awesome, duh. But I digress...we are trying to email each other and keep each other psyched for the results we know will come :D

I'm already seeing marked improvement in my weight and it's only been a week. It's not impossible but it's not easy either. But I'm stubborn (noooo not meee right? shaddup) so I will make this work, damnit.

Been drinking a lot more water and herbal teas. Adding some soymilk shakes to my diet [read up on it, studies are showing now that it helps reduce belly fat in women]. So...maybe when it's all said and done, I'll post pics. Yeah. Hold your breath ;)

I am also going to -try- (key word here, folks) to start maybe a photo blog of one of my meals per day. Just because I want to.

I think that's all for today...I still need ideas on what new thing I could learn! Get with the replies!

getting better

So the diet is getting better. Most of the cravings are gone but last night was rough. I was pretty hungry but I also want to get out of the habit of eating before bed...not so sure I can but it's a goal of mine. I was up for most of the night because my body was telling me, "go eat, stupid" but stubbornly I stayed in bed. This led to a long night of watching LIFE IN THE ER.

It'll get easier (I hope).

I've been doing good on my workouts. The only time I've missed them was when I wasn't feeling well and I'm getting better about making sure I get them in rather than dreading them. It's a mere 30 min's on the elliptical but that's a lot when you just don't feel like it.

I'm going stir crazy because I haven't gotten a new book. I just don't know what to read and my brain is screaming for input/words/stimulus, etc. I mean, outside of internet reading and WoWing it up. I actually -like- holding a book in my hand and curling up with one to read.

Overall I'm just trying to stay positive about my diet, my goals (school), and life in general.

I want to learn something new...anyone got any suggestions?

...is this thing on? -taps the mic_

I've got nothing..

It's...7:34. Yep. A.M.

Got the youngest one off to school and now I'm sitting here trying to wake up fully so I can drive child #3 to his doctor appt across town. There's not much to report at the moment other than that I gave in last night and had a salad before bed. It wasn't hardly enough to even report on my food diary but I did because I want to be sure I account for everything. I really tried not to eat anything more but I always have a snack before bed. I figure if I make sure it's something that contains mostly water, I'm doing good, right? Right.

Yesterday was child #4's Spring Fling at school. It was quite short, albeit amusing. The kids did little music numbers and for 2nd grade it was alright. I think the teachers could do more with them but I'm guessing it was the extent of their own capabilities (no, that's not an insult. just a fact.). Some of the children didn't show up for one of the numbers but they improvised nicely. Kid #4 did a little routine to music and a basketball. =) He loves the spotlight...only when he's with other people though. Put up there alone and he's pretty shy..I think he'll evolve out of that and then I'll have a bonafide ham on my hands.

I'd post some of the video here but I'm not sure I want strange people oogling my 8yr old. Sorry, but we all know there's sickos out there and I'm just not willing to expose one of my babies to it.

I didn't get to bed until late last night and then I didn't sleep very well. It was pretty cold. So cold, in fact, that kid #4 came curling up next to me. (I'm known in the family as the living furnace when I sleep...for some reason I just project a lot of heat o.o) Problem with that is that he squirms so much it wakes me up every time -.-

Alas, we survived the night and I'm here. Zombie Mom No. 1. [ insert zombie groan from Sean of the Dead here ]

Maybe more later, maybe not. I'm pretty effin proud I have been doing this for a week, now. Let's not push it, eh?

[insert zombie groan]

It's 8 AM.

I repeat. 8....in the A.M.

Yeah, those who know me wonder wtf am I doing up. Besides getting the kids off to school, I am in my insomnia phase again I guess. (note to those who are new -- Halo is NOT a morning person)

I have a funny little story. A lawyer I know called all doctors 'arrogant' and I started to giggle. I said, "I won't come back and see you after a few years then because I'm going pre-med to be a doctor" and he joked with me some about how arrogant they are...his partner was in agreeance and we talked about how after med school and residency and all the shit they have to go through, they kind of deserve to be a little arrogant.

I think what made me giggle was the fact that I always joke that "it's all about me". It really is a joke..I hardly ever think of myself before others but I use it as a mantra to remind myself that I have to put myself first sometimes...right?

I'm yawning right now...having small daydreams about how comfortable my bed is. This is bad. lol.

I'm going back to bed.