7.08.2007

Genesis..

I don't know where to start. Everytime I start a blog or diary, I think I can keep up with it but I cannot. My thoughts and senses are so fragile and sacred, revealing them feels more like a mortal sin than expression. I have only my art for that. My little graphic profiles that I make for my "AOL Friends" here and there. Even that joy starts to wane.

What is left, are all these thoughts. Static that buzzes around in my mind until I'm overflowing with it and I feel like the person standing next to me can hear it.

I'm not schitzo. I'm just ..me.

People often say, "you have no idea" but do they really believe that? I used to. I've met a few that were like me and it's always so foreign, like meeting someone from another planet who speaks your language.

Who knows if I'll even keep this blog up. I think part of the discouragement of having an online journal is when it feels like no one even reads it. So why bother?

My thoughts are no more interesting than the next person's. Hell, I'd be surprised if theirs weren't a whole hell of a lot more interesting than mine. None the less..I'll keep attempting it to see if I get better....to ping the universe and see if there's someone else that speaks the language.

2 comments:

The Sainted said...

That foreign language is called depth. We brave our depths and actually dare to examine what lies beneath the surface of our thoughts. The static is the potential of all we are and could be. It seems lonely because so few stop in midstride in their lives and take time to really listen to themselves. Or to others. The day to day routine creates a lull of comfort a lot of people are reluctant to leave behind. Your thoughts are beyond fascinating. At least, to me. Because they are the essence of you. There is always someone listening. Whether they admit it or not. ;)

unsaintly: said...

that's cuz every halo needs a saint <333